We do things a little bit differently here…
Every company seems to write their “About Us” page so that it’s short, and sound like they hired some corporate writer to make them sound really cool, or profitable, or big, or something equally pathetic and stupid. Hey… We also did that…
But then we realized… WAIT!!!
We are Ninjas! What are we doing with this wimpy “About Us” page?
So… It’s time for The Real Story…
Blvnp was created by a top secret organization of Master Ninjas who got bored killing people (now that Pirates use Machine Guns and speed boats it’s just not as much fun).
We decided to use our awesome skills selling books.
It seemed perfectly logical at the time… Really…
All master Ninjas are heavy readers.
Have you SEEN Greys Anatomy? I mean the book not the TV Show. It’s huge (you can bash a head in with it with just 2 swings) and it’s required reading among all Ninja’s, because it shows where all the most important nerves are.
Anyway, I digress…
So… Where was I… Oh yeah, we decided, “hey, let’s sell books instead of kill people”.
As you can imagine, this idea did not go over well at first (many blood duels were fought). But as it turned out, several of our members had worked quite extensively in the Internet Marketing world with their secret identities.
One particularly nerdy ninja had rose quite high in the Internet Marketing world (Tom Tate). Tom had sold books by mail order back in 1987, and started his first multi-million dollar business, CDT, in 1995 (he forgot it’s supposed to be a secret identity not a life passion, NERD).
We officially created Blvnp in 2003… BUT… After cutting the heads off of all of our old lawyers and getting new lawyers, we Re-Incorporated in 2013.
We have created a great deal best-sellers in various categories, including Health, Romance, Business, and Psychology. We publish both digital ebooks and print books.
When you submit a book to Blvnp it is read by our team of Grammar Nazis/Ninjas (they’re both) who will literally cut out any misspelled words and grammar errors (it was really hard on laptop screens until we got them touch screens and padded swords).
When it’s approved, our team of Graphic Ninjas meditate and create eye-catching covers, ready to blind an innocent book reader.
Our Marketing Ninjas step in to make sure that your book can be seen by the people you made your book for.
Some more information.
Our mailing address is in California USA, our highest concentration of employees is in Cebu Philippines, and we are incorporated in Nevada USA.
If that all sounds confusing… It’s because it is.
Ninjas are supposed to be mysterious.
How do I pronounce “Blvnp”?
After some of our Authors mispronounced Blvnp too many times we had to use them as throwing star practice so….
For your safety Blvnp is pronounced like “Bah-Live-Nip”.
It is a super secret word (well… it was secret before we wrote this “About Us” page) which means:
“Have a good time ALL the time and if you are not having a good time, then change the situation.”
Ninjas can be fun too. People just don’t realize how fun we can be. We just get a bad name from all of the killing.
Also, we break dance. But we do it incognito for obvious reasons.