We’ve all been there before. When you hear their voice, your head spins in their direction. When you catch them walking to the copy room or canteen, you make up an excuse to go there as well. You’ve probably developed reflexes just for them. There are also those little mental debates you have about asking them out, should I or shouldn’t I? Well, you’re in luck because Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and that gives you the perfect excuse to finally ask them out. It’s different for guys and girls so we’ve put together a step by step guide for the gents and for the ladies. Happy Valentine’s Day, office lovebirds! (Go get ’em)
For the guys…
Her perfume is familiar, her footsteps are distinct. When she walks by you imagine yourself walking next to her, holding her hand. You are then suddenly brought back down to earth because your office crush is your colleague at work and getting involved with them also means a series of dates with HR. But don’t lose hope just yet. Here are a few ways to get out of the Office Crush Zone without risking an HR violation.
1. Dress to impress and make her think “yes”
You don’t have to go out and get your Fred Perry on. Looking good doesn’t have to cost you big bucks. Think SCHAVE. Shower (hygiene is sexy), coordinate your outfit, fix your hair, and unless you have a good stubble going on, shave. For good measure, dab on some cologne before you leave the house. First impressions count.
2. Small talk is your friend
When you see a chance to talk to her, grab it. If you happen to catch her in the hallway or coming through the door, stop and say hey or get the door for her. Don’t be cheesy about it but keep in mind that you have a goal. Use the small talk to get her to smile or laugh while talking to you. Having a sense of humor at the right time is always a good thing!
3. Landi level: Pasimple
It’s time to be a little bit pasimple. If you come from different departments, volunteer to be the liason for some office synergy. Spending time together means more opportunities to show her who you are without coming off as completely creepy and forward. Show her your intellectual side.
4. “Hey……. wanna have lunch?”
Hold your horses there, boy! You’re still in the mingle phase. “Group lunches” or “group coffee breaks” are great pasimple tactics. You can have small side conversations where you ask a bit more about her interests, family, ambitions, her favorite drink, and most importantly, her relationship status. “Oh….. are you seeing someone pala?” Boom.
This is not yet the date. Lunch or coffee breaks are the best times to just sit down and get to know each other a little more in depth. Plus you’ll know what her favorite drink is for future reference. This time could be the determining factor for whether or not she would go on a date with you.
This is the age of virtual romances, after all. Send her GIFs, punny messages, and articles that you are both interested in. Link videos that will make her laugh and if she shows positive responses, bring out the big guns: chat. This gives you even more conversation time and another avenue to show her what you’re made of.
6. Be a man and just ask.
Once you see that she is responding to your efforts, this is the moment of truth. Your palms are sweaty, your heartbeat picks up. Take a deep breathe, relax, and remember that you’ve already built a connection with her. The next time you catch her alone, start with small talk again and just pop the question, “You wanna go out for dinner or hangout after work?
Whether it is a concert, dinner, movies or any activity just try to make the best of it and just have fun! Don’t worry too much, don’t think too far ahead in the future and just enjoy the moment. Good luck, soldier.
For the ladies…
The guys might be all Rico Suave about asking you out but don’t be fooled; the ladies can be smooth about making the first move too. Let’s face it, slow and steady wins the race. You’re not actually asking them out on a last minute date. This is a planned and calculated decision that you made weeks, maybe months, ago and it’s finally coming into fruition. The whole point of this is to make it seem like it’s a last minute date. But it’s really not.
1. Revisit your bookmark of his Facebook profile
Don’t pretend you don’t have it saved somewhere. Sift through his likes and history of events. By studying his interests and keeping up to date with the happenings around town, you can hope to anticipate where and when he’ll be out. If he’s social media savvy, you will get lucky and see that he’s clicked ‘Attending’ for an event or two.
2. “Bump” into him
“Oh, cool, you like [insert band/restaurant/activity] too?” Now that you have a totally not creepy “copy” of his schedule, your mission is to “bump” into him at the restaurant he’s trying or the concert he’ll be watching. When he sees you there, the lightbulb will go off that this girl from work likes the things I like too. And just like that, you have laid the foundation of your relationship.
3. Talk it up on Monday morning at the office
Making a move is nothing without follow through. Strike up conversation about how good the food was or how the concert over the weekend is still stuck in your head and slowly transition the conversation to get to know each other. “So what other (bands/cuisine/etc) are you into? Do you have any pets? Where is your favorite place in the world?”
4. Common space is common ground
By this point, you should be able to categorize your relationship as that of new friends. It’s fresh enough that it’s exciting but cultivated enough that there is a common ground. Strategically place yourself in the common working spaces in the office. This way, he’ll see a lot more of you even when he’s just passing by. If you play your cards right, he will start working there too and the transition from just officemates to officedates will be gold.
Now that you have a steady thing going on, it’s time to take it up a knotch. Stir some innocent flirting into the mix: a little physical contact, a seductive new perfume, a well fitted jersey of his favorite sports team (if you don’t have a dress code), or a lip bite while you’re working. When I say innocent, I’m referring to subtlety and the guy asking himself if you were actually flirting or not. We don’t want any NSFW tags here.
6. Ask him… and smile
Like the crazy lady ninja that you are, just casually ask him out like its no big deal when in truth, your ovaries are exploding. Generally, men like the forwardness so it’s a refreshing surprise that they will be willing to explore (a.k.a. say yes to). You don’t need a big speech. Just ask. Or insist. “Hey, we should get dinner this weekend.” And this weekend just so happens to be Valentine’s. 😉